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December 08 2012

Phone
Reposted bypapajajudasewadnemuvielllexxieabracadabraalittle-thingsletsgodrinktogetheritjenchoreraTeereaopuszekdwiefoczkijuhudoraanddontcrytonightbnanadonQbarProsahgaboranabeepyzamazowieckatherepostgamesyoanntales-of-a-librarianpiraniaFayren7

November 30 2012

Never mind, I’ll find someone like Q.

pricew
Reposted frompracticaljoke practicaljoke

November 26 2012

Things to say to busy booksellers

“If being sexy were a crime, you’d be guilty as Raskolnikov!”

“Excuse me, Where do you shelve John Milton? Because it looks to me like Heaven is missing an angel.”

"Baby, You and I should have some Naked Lunch together."

"Don't panic, but I would hitchhike all over your galaxy!"

“You’ve got amazing eyes like Dr. T.J. Eckleburg”

“Have you been working out or did you just finish reading Infinite Jest?”

“Excuse me, are you reshelving Fahrenheit 451? That must be why you’re so hot.”

“Is your shift over? ‘Cause it’s Henry Miller Time.”

The Girl and Her Books
Reposted byLisek77dolphuglymuviellulvarolewkaRacuchYELLOWBREEZESkilljillshillenyakindacatchydisappointmentunenlaaakso

November 20 2012

November 19 2012

#you’re not a true fan unless you hang from the ceiling and spin around in circles, providing cool air for everyone around you
TheNobleHelium
Reposted byconcubinemuviellrzekomyfusselchensiriusminervahaszraagotohellkilljillkusiolcoffeandunicornsevangelynPandaAttack

October 28 2012

I also found that in my case posting on soup.io is based mostly on theory of effort justification.
Good to know.
Reposted bycodypiketheotherjameshawkeyeswookierhubarbmakingmoviesno-mocarz-jestem

October 22 2012

7625 68dd 500
#Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of laptop, desk and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous page of yore —
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous page of yore
Meant in showing “504.”
Reposted fromhairinmy hairinmy viaulvar ulvar

October 21 2012

September 25 2012

I haven’t read my Wikipedia entry since I was banned from editing it myself.
Alan Davies
Reposted bymaraskowaulvarrzekomylajcitiesofnightmadialenesorry-mrs-fillyjonkchristinedamhgnginstysicksincamillejrmakingmoviesmaraskowawormstachemalinowowamynamevronk

September 23 2012

#The Doctor’s biggest foe
Reposted byTARDISdontmakemeangryhadjanicklooseAkaism0k1nggnuschlachtorosgohush-approvessiriusminervanilsfmuviellsicksinmrc-hllsyouthlesshappykokeshilocusuncutsmaraskowablue-berrydrzazgazpopkhawkeyeswonderlustqueenidz-pan-w-cholerewormstacheheythereivanaprzypadkowapkz451amagicalplacefun-in-funeralfotofobsorry-mrs-fillyjonktruskawkowoagghYgrittes

September 17 2012

#NELI too #Not Even Laughing Inwardly
Reposted bymaraskowayouthlesseverybody-lies

September 15 2012

#This is an accurate representation of me trying to introduce friends to a new fandom
Reposted fromapatia apatia viatediousuncle tediousuncle

September 12 2012

September 11 2012

#it may seem like I’m always online

#and that’s because I am

Reposted fromdomino domino

September 10 2012

"INTRODUCTION

Life is a game for one player. In this challenging game you will try to build an efficient system for coping with the chaos of the universe. While you can’t win this game, your objective is to reach the end of the game with as many personal victory points achieved as possible. While this scoring is ultimately meaningless, it will ease your transition into post-game oblivion.

SETUP

1. Take the Sperm and the Egg and combine them to create life.
2. Wait.
3. Wait.
4. Wait and hope.
5. Use Medical Ultrasonography to assess the success of the game setup process so far.
6. Wait.
7. Wait.
8. You are ready to play!

THE GAME ROUND

Life is played over a terrifyingly uncertain number of game rounds. Each game round consists of four phases.

1. Spring – In this phase, the player prepares for the rest of his round with hope in his heart.
2. Summer – In this phase, the player tries to put some of his plans into action but is horny and distracted.
3. Autumn – In this phase, the player tries to rush into some plans, aware that time is running out in the round. A depression starts to sink in.
4. Winter – In this phase, the player must say “I can’t believe it’s Christmas already” and then fall into a strange mood that alternates between joyful and suicidal.

If at any time during the game the player cannot continue with his round, perhaps because he doesn’t exist anymore, the scores are tallied and then quickly forgotten.

SPRING

During this phase, the player prepares for the rest of the round by setting some Plans.

The phase consists of these steps.

1. Advance the Life round marker by one step. If the marker reaches 40 on the Age Track, take the Morbid Thoughts deck.
2. Set Plans. (The player will believe he has an unlimited deck of Plans, but in truth there is only seven or eight. When the Plan deck is empty, shuffle discards and re-use.)
3. Resolve Illnesses. (If the player has illnesses from previous rounds, he must resolve their actions now. If he stops existing as a result of one of these actions, wipe all plans off the table with a sweep of an arm and a wail of horror.)

SUMMER

During this phase, the player attempts to put his plans into motion.

The phase consists of these steps.

1. Execute Plans. (If the player has the Resources listed on his Plan, he may execute the plan. Unfortunately, these resources are not included within the components of the base game of Life.)
2. Make Excuses. (If the player has failed to execute a Plan, he must take an Excuse card and add it to those already in his play area. Please ensure you have a big enough table.)
3. Wander Off To Try And Have Sex. (The player must now leave the table to try to find someone to have sex with. It is summer, and it is hot, and have you seen what people are wearing this round?)
4. Suffer Guilt. (Take 9000 Guilt Tokens.)

AUTUMN

During this phase, also known as the Panic Phase, the player can try to get his round back in some sort of working shape.

The phase consists of these steps.

1. Set More Plans. (The player can now search through his deck and his discards for a couple of Plans that look easy to execute quickly. Please note that there is actually no further opportunity to Execute a Plan in this game round.)
2. Stare Into Space. (The player may now stare into space for a period of time of his choosing. During the game, this step may also be referred to as “Stare At A TV”, “Stare At A Ceiling”, “Stare At A Neighbour’s Bin” or “Stare At Your Own Reflection”.)
3. Advance The Downer Track. (Move a step further along the Downer Track. If you reach the Total Downer area, repeat the entire Autumn phase forever.)

WINTER

During this phase there is renewed hope for the player, tinged with a strange sadness.

The phase consists of these steps.

1. Declare Disbelief. (The player must make this statement out loud – “I can’t believe it’s Christmas already!” In the early game rounds, this statement must be made in an excited and joyful tone of voice. In the later rounds, a despairing and frightened tone is essential.)
2. Clear Play Area. (The player might as well now clear the whole fucking play area because they did absolutely fuck all this game round, as per usual.)
3. Give and Receive Gift Cards. (The player can now choose the very best cards from the Gift Deck and award them to other players. Please note that Life is ultimately a solitaire game, and no other players really exist. The player must pretend that they do for this phase. He must also randomly draw some Gift Cards from the deck and be disappointed by them.)

WINNING THE GAME

You can’t win this game. Every great person in human history has played this game and not one of them has managed to win.

The game ends when you end.

Try to arrange for someone to tally your Victory Points at the end of the game. Be sure that this person can be trusted to exaggerate your VP total during a eulogy at your funeral.

FAQ

1. Is there a multi-player variant for this game?
You can pretend there is for a while if it makes you feel better.
2. Do we have to play this game? I hate it.
Unfortunately, if the game Setup has been completed, you are expected to play the game to a finish. Also, there ARE no other games, so you might as well play it. What else are you going to do?
3. Will there be an expansion for Life?
No. But every player’s experience will be forever coloured by the vain hope of one.

ENJOY PLAYING!"

Reposted byblue-berrymagdaniliatove

September 04 2012

September 01 2012

@margotblue, this "news" is two weeks old but still...!

July 19 2012

June 29 2012

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