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January 02 2013

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Crowley 

Resolution #1: I must accept that Super-Gluing valuable coins to the sidewalk and then watching events from a nearby café is not proper demonic activity.

Resolution #2: The same applies to rearranging the letters on wayside pulpits.

Resolution #3: Try to come up with something as good as cell phone ringtones, following one last stab at convincing Downstairs that cell phone ringtones are right up there in the whole Human Misery stakes. And iPods. Has anybody Down There even said thank you for iPods? Or “Googling yourself?” Frankly, I deserve some kind of award for “Googling yourself.”

Resolution #4: I must encourage greedy people to use the term, “Low-hanging fruit,” because that’s just like old times.

Resolution #5: This year, I will get a desk near the window.

Resolution #6: I will try to understand why Hell is a no-smoking area. I just think it’s ridiculous having to stand around outside the gates, that’s all.

Resolution #7: On the orders of Head Office I will encourage the belief in Intelligent Design, because it upsets everyone.

Resolution #8: Stop Googling myself.

Aziraphale

Resolution #1: Spread peace and love and glad tidings of great joy throughout the world. Also try to get out more.

Resolution #2: I will be charitable to people who use the term “core values,” however difficult this may be.

Resolution #3: Notwithstanding Resolution #2 (above), I will redouble my efforts to have the utterance of the phrase “core values” classified as a deadly sin. I believe Himself is with me on this one.

Resolution #4: I will try to be nicer to the customers. They want to buy books; I want to sell them. It can’t be that hard. (Memo to self: Regular opening hours? Mark prices on books?)

Resolution #5: I will try to be polite to Gabriel, no matter what the provocation.

Resolution #6: Find out exactly what an “Internet” is.

Resolution #7: Really must resume dancing lessons. Learn the “Galloping Major,” the “Gay Gordons,” the “Mashed Potatoes.” Possibly even the “Twist”?

Resolution #8: Thwart Infernal Wiles (ongoing).

Resolution #9: I will try to understand why Heaven is a non-smoking area.

Resolution #10: On the orders of Head Office I will encourage the belief in Intelligent Design – despite the fact that the human airway crosses the digestive tract. Who thought that was intelligent?

Resolution #11: Feed the ducks.

Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman present New Year's resolutions of the demon Crowley and the angelic Aziraphale — characters in their collaborative novel, Good Omens.
Reposted bycptMissDeWorderavensiriusminerva

December 06 2012

Good Omens
Reposted bysiriusminervamagdanestorjobieredvarethcorpuscallosumkusiol

July 01 2012

There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!
— Terry Pratchett, "The Truth"
Reposted fromsawb sawb viafotofob fotofob

June 21 2012

Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman.
Reposted bydecarabiagotohellzycienakrawedzikissalonecomplexagghpracticaljokewalkiriamaciekpvimesandaeateverbtiLazhwardinkwizytormissadventureluizbarefootgirlAlekwashumanityulvarDellfringer3u3amonimichwilczalauraarualstraycatIndileensaxbitssiriusminervaForstifidepusfrittatensuppexiuminohmylifeArkelanfallkrybusNorkNorkSteelbladeMunkmakingmovieszEveR

June 18 2012

May 13 2012

March 22 2012

January 03 2012

Uniwersytety są skarbnicami wiedzy: studenci przychodzą ze szkół przekonani, że wiedzą już prawie wszystko; po latach odchodzą pewni, że nie wiedzą praktycznie niczego. Gdzie się podziewa ta wiedza? Zostaje na uniwersytecie, gdzie jest starannie suszona i składana w magazynach.
— Terry Pratchett "Nauka Świata Dysku"
Reposted fromsaphirka saphirka viafotofob fotofob

December 13 2011

"Aziraphale collected books. If he were totally honest with himself he would have to have admitted that his bookshop was simply somewhere to store them. He was not unusual in this. In order to maintain his cover as a typical second-hand book seller, he used every means short of actual physical violence to prevent customers from making a purchase. Unpleasant damp smells, glowering looks, erratic opening hours - he was incredibly good at it."
Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman "Good Omens"
Reposted byDaggeroftheMindadora-bellemakingmovies

April 14 2011

Trudno określić jego wiek. Ale sądząc po cynizmie i zmęcze­niu światem, będących odpowiednikiem datowania węglem dla ludzkiej osobowości, miał jakieś siedem tysięcy lat.
— T.Pratchett - Straż! Straż!
Reposted fromasylum asylum viakarioszka karioszka

February 13 2011

Informacja dla młodzieży i Amerykanów.
Jeden szyling= pięć pensów. Łatwiej można zrozumieć starożytny system finansowy Armii Tropicieli Wiedźm, jeśli zna się pierwotny system monetarny brytyjski. Dwa ćwierciaki= jeden półpens. Dwa półpensy= jeden pens. Trzy pensy= trojak. Dwa trojaki= szóstak. Dwa szóstaki= jeden szyling, czyli bob. Dwa boby= floren. Jeden floren i jeden szóstak= półkoronowka. Cztery półkoronówki= banknot dziesięciobobkowy. Dwa banknoty dziesięciobobkowe= jeden funt (czyli 240 pensów). Jeden funt i jeden szyling= jedna gwinea.
Brytyjczycy opierali się przed przyjęciem dziesiętnego systemu monetarnego, ponieważ uważali, że jest zbyt skomplikowany.
— Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett "Dobry Omen", roz. XI
Reposted byakusorrisolehaszraaarfirafinnyzycienakrawedziziomalonnowherextohidemental-cat
I nie był przystojny. Nawet wtedy, gdy zdejmował okulary.*

*Prawdę powiedziawszy, po ich zdjęciu był jeszcze mniej przystojny, a to dlatego, że potykał się o różne przedmioty i bardzo często chodził obandażowany.
— Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett "Dobry Omen", roz. XI
Reposted byzielonobursztynowesorrisolehaszraaarfira

January 23 2011

Reposted byBenthamhashakuhaszraaszczypcikhawkeyesLibroncikrobalpsychodelicjasuperflykatsuzupalapannakojotJagotencathhhymhroczusawkwardpzakSnusmumrikenwstawieplywaizabasienazywajaerkdzwiedzmagicvortexcellszczygielxszerlitcappuccinomaraskowaprzytulankiOkruszeknanokneeRevvavantarczeresnieukashijaen-ni-rinreloveutionn4th4ni3lkusiolImponderablehippieamnetTofiaczjustbecausebazantRat-IncnologinformynickbelewiczAbberkamlunazusiaMezametakashizupkapoppybrzoskaleonelleIriennavailbrilhendzwiedziuCurumoSmigolThEvilwebjunknoctariusarbuziatkojezderkusieidiotequeininafyeahwhateverkabuWonszmissrenattawtrikkPaseroVirusbercikjiyuunaolundkolanojajeczkowiiinyyymarzycielbisiazagrobelaragissmoczejciupushazelsliwajmawmarydom-lowfiveciciakniemcuconnlasairdevistoxxer18margotkabztwojnanuffinwujekbentenGoztecprzeszafchiyuchrzanictorurkykikikingaudonpoppytytekdragonettebztwojnamahakaosnaperkowoTheJareksikorkashingaraafektcocciuellaAnnaBananajagnak0tuniaczeresnie88carapmgsukubelucky-oneb4rtkajaktomarkusszkarlatgusta-bludeleinzerodisanoJuggermrugaczw5minutmagratVillentretenmerthgrotesqueinesignisMoraliomakingmoviesBitterLemonweregesuMijimekwiatpaprocizycienakrawedzicherrycokeviperssj3carikaroanthimeLazhwardjenny-rosesimpleplanpijakkindacatchyzagrobelawciurnasteksntxverybadwolfIvelliosargasekncmsrocketpenguinszymanmluskwasnaeTristVBaudelairepanpancernyUbikayameprincess-carolynTamahlsadamik

November 28 2010

You know what the greatest tragedy is in the whole world?... It's all the people who never find out what it is they really want to do or what it is they're really good at. It's all the sons who become blacksmiths because their fathers were blacksmiths. It's all the people who could be really fantastic flute players who grow old and die without ever seeing a musical instrument, so they become bad ploughmen instead. It's all the people with talents who never even find out. Maybe they are never even born in a time when it's even possible to find out. It's all the people who never get to know what it is that they can really be. It's all the wasted chances.
— Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures
Reposted frommargotblue margotblue

May 08 2010

- Jedna struna mi się zerwała.
- To co? Masz przecież jeszcze pięć.
- Tak. Ale nie umiem grać na pięciu.
- Na sześciu też nie umiałeś. Więc teraz twoja ignorancja się zmniejszyła.
— Terry Pratchett "Zadziwiający Maurycy i Jego Uczone Szczury"
Reposted byranipiskor

May 06 2010

I was there at the beginning, chums, the very beginning, when the world was monochrome, and pretty grainy monochrome at that. I remember arguing at school about the tune, particularly how long you should go bumdy bum bumdy bum bumdy bum bumdy bum before you got on to the woooooooeeeeeee bumdidy bum bit
GUEST BLOG Terry Pratchett on Doctor Who
Reposted fromTARDIS TARDIS
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